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你知道嗎?成年人的戀愛,本質上只有3種“入場券”
1.補償性心動
你在對方身上看到了自己缺失的那部分:你自卑,TA就耀眼;你古板,TA就野性。你以為是愛上TA,其實是想通過佔有TA,來治癒那個殘缺的自己
2.情緒價值交換
有些人長相一般,卻很受歡迎,是因為他們能提供“穩定性魅力”。在充滿不確定性的生活裡,這種“穩”就是最大的吸引力
3.社會屬性兼容
門當戶對、資源互補、基因改良。這不叫愛情,這叫“生活風險合夥人”
大多數人的痛苦在於: 用第1種的心態入場,卻期待第2種的互動,最後死在了第3種的博弈裡。